This post needeth no title

Ambiguous.

That's right. I said it.

Ambiguous.

It's funny how you can say a word and have it completely unrelated to the topic at hand, especially when the topic at foot is more understandably in need for such a word. Too bad this word has something to do with the topic at hand. Perhaps you would like to learn what it means before we proceed. No? Come on.. I can see the tears forming in your eyes... Alright. Here it is:
Ambiguous: open to having several possible meanings or interpretations.
You can understand why I simply had to put it before anything else. It defines the work of a fortune teller, that's why. Fortune tellers see the future, but give a very ambiguous answer so that you can either go frolicking in the flowers or crying on the streets, depending on how you interpret the answer.
Math is equally as ambiguous. How many times do the teachers tell you to go through the order of operations, yet when you reach a math level that you don't understand, but you would start by getting rid of the parenthesis, it's wrong. Not only kind of wrong. So wrong that your whole dream to become a mathematician is crushed and you resign yourself to a life of serving ice cream because you dropped out of school.
Wow, you say. Never in the history of time has the word ambiguous seemed more important than in this blog post. It's changed your life. You now have a new dream to become a philosopher, so you drop your ice cream scoop and run to the highest mountain retreat you can find, where life is ambiguously wonderful. You wouldn't have been happy in that math job anyway. Stupid order of operations.
So exciting is this new world of ambiguous things. But beware, my friends. It can be equally as dangerous. Some get offended by ambiguous things, like words said but not meant to be taken offensively. Boy, how many times do you think that's happened in the world? It's a very vague number, but it can be ambiguously interpreted as a lot. The word ambiguous has great power, and with great power comes a need for a clarity of speech. So next time you you're about to yell to your friend across the room and tell him his fly is undone, think about how that might be taken offensively when not said in a private setting. Be careful, my friends, and the word ambiguous will serve you well. Like in a mad libs game. Yes.... mad libs. But not math.
Stupid math.

BANG!!

Wow. What an exciting title. Bet you thought this post was going to be interesting and full of excitement. Nope. Bet you thought I was going to relate my post to that title; that I might tell you why it was "bang!" instead of "boom!" or "crash!". Although all of those are fun onomatopoeia's, I had no intention of telling you why I chose "bang" over the rest. In fact, you might not want to read this post after such an exciting title like this one. You might as well stop reading, turn off your computer, and think about the facts of life, many of which have more to do with the word "bang!" than this post. I cannot tell a lie; ALL of the facts of life have more to do with "bang" than this post. Well, except for this first paragraph where I say the word "bang" five- no- six times and tell a story about why it's completely unrelated to the topic of this post. So disregard this paragraph and move on.

Thanksgiving. There is never a better time for it than now. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. This time of year, the snow has just started to get thick and troublesome. I myself hate snow and wish it would just melt already. You might say I, and many others like me, enjoy complaining this time of year. This is surely the real reason Thanksgiving is here. To remind us to suck it up and be grateful that we have houses to keep us away from those dreadful frozen pieces of death. Once one gets started on this road of thankfulness, it gets harder and harder to stop saying things one is thankful for. Don't believe me? Alright, try this little exercise. Get a piece of paper and a pencil. Or a computer, since you are currently on one. Start by writing five things you are grateful for. Then write why. Need and example? Here: I am grateful for my house because it keeps me safe and sound from the snow. Now, take one word from each of those five thankful thoughts and write why you are thankful for them. For example: I am grateful for... I hate to say it... snow because it makes the ground look shiny. Then repeat again with the next set of thankful thoughts. It gets easier and easier to be thankful for things. If you find yourself going in circles, start a new cycle and let the fun continue. Hey, I told you to stop reading this earlier. Now stop complaining and find something you're thankful for. But you can't say your computer because it lets you read my posts. You have to pick something different. Like snow; always be grateful for snow, no matter how much you want to... BANG!!
Ha ha! I, with my quick wit and charming manner, somehow managed to fit the word "bang" into my post. Which also makes me a liar. Great. Let's see... how did this go? I am grateful for liars because they always have a surprise up their sleeve, whether pleasant, like Melodie's little witty comment, or unpleasant, like finding a snake in your pocket even though you were just told there wasn't one. See? It's easy!
So happy Thanksgiving, and I hope you stuff yourself silly!