Sunday, February 6, 2011

Math? Anyone? Anyone?

The length l (in inches) of a standard nail can be modeled by the following equation:
l=54d^3/2
where d is the diameter (in inches) of the nail. What is the diameter of a standard nail that is 3 inches long?
Has your brain imploded yet? Mine has. If yours hasn't, and you're just going to comment and put the answer, then please stop reading and refrain yourself from commenting. I might just make your computer explode if you comment.
Algebra 2: the one thing that is keeping me from a 3.9 GPA (y'know, because of that A- in chemistry). I swear that if my textbook could talk, all my evil little thoughts of burning it would come true. Not only does it completely and utterly confuse me, intermediate algebra keeps sneaking in these little trick questions just when I start to understand the complexities of one concept or another. oooh, if I ever come up against an ancient Egyptian or Babylonian in a dark alley...
Change of subject. I have decided to audition for a play. Well, too late. I already did. What was the probability of me telling you this information in that order? Figure THAT, Algebra 2!
Anyways, the play I auditioned for (and got in, strangely) is about all these magical creatures from faerie tales coming together to see why there is an inexplicable absence of magic in the magic kingdom. Characters such as Peter Pan, Cinderella, the tin man, scarecrow and lion suddenly find out what life is like without magic. Cinderella becomes a whiny little girl whose glass slippers turn into hiking boots, Captain Hook likes Peter Pan, the scarecrow is a brainiac, and Prince Charming is egotistical and empty headed (Probably no change there). It's a fun little one act that I have grown to love. Ok, maybe I don't love it, but I find an unquestionably attraction... slap me if you will. I believe I was babbling.
I should bring this babbling down to a minimum and bid you all a good evening. Thank you for reading to the end of this post, and please remember to not answer the question in the beginning.
(I could not bring myself to put a little "Smiley face" at the end. So just pretend I'm smiling at you and give yourself a pat on the back because you are one great person!)

Friday, December 3, 2010

This post needeth no title

Ambiguous.

That's right. I said it.

Ambiguous.

It's funny how you can say a word and have it completely unrelated to the topic at hand, especially when the topic at foot is more understandably in need for such a word. Too bad this word has something to do with the topic at hand. Perhaps you would like to learn what it means before we proceed. No? Come on.. I can see the tears forming in your eyes... Alright. Here it is:
Ambiguous: open to having several possible meanings or interpretations.
You can understand why I simply had to put it before anything else. It defines the work of a fortune teller, that's why. Fortune tellers see the future, but give a very ambiguous answer so that you can either go frolicking in the flowers or crying on the streets, depending on how you interpret the answer.
Math is equally as ambiguous. How many times do the teachers tell you to go through the order of operations, yet when you reach a math level that you don't understand, but you would start by getting rid of the parenthesis, it's wrong. Not only kind of wrong. So wrong that your whole dream to become a mathematician is crushed and you resign yourself to a life of serving ice cream because you dropped out of school.
Wow, you say. Never in the history of time has the word ambiguous seemed more important than in this blog post. It's changed your life. You now have a new dream to become a philosopher, so you drop your ice cream scoop and run to the highest mountain retreat you can find, where life is ambiguously wonderful. You wouldn't have been happy in that math job anyway. Stupid order of operations.
So exciting is this new world of ambiguous things. But beware, my friends. It can be equally as dangerous. Some get offended by ambiguous things, like words said but not meant to be taken offensively. Boy, how many times do you think that's happened in the world? It's a very vague number, but it can be ambiguously interpreted as a lot. The word ambiguous has great power, and with great power comes a need for a clarity of speech. So next time you you're about to yell to your friend across the room and tell him his fly is undone, think about how that might be taken offensively when not said in a private setting. Be careful, my friends, and the word ambiguous will serve you well. Like in a mad libs game. Yes.... mad libs. But not math.
Stupid math.